Merciful Eyes

“He saw my past through merciful eyes. Beautiful, that’s how mercy saw me.” Lyrics from the song Mercy Saw Me by T.D Jakes. Our unresolved past often comes as heart breakers to the present. The guilt, shame and embarrassing memories attached cause us to feel less than; nothing great. But God’s merciful eyes see us as BEAUTIFUL! Not what we were but what we can be. A few weeks ago a young lady came to talk with me about some past issues that she deemed insurmountable. Please read as she unfolds her story (permission granted to share):

“My mother did not show me love and affection and I craved it more than anything else in the world. From a young age I started building friendships with the opposite sex seeking affection and affirmation. I started kissing and inappropriately touching as a means of expression to satisfy my hunger for love. I was naive. I did not understand fully that these things could not satisfy, however, the more I got was the more I desired. Another thing to note, my mother’s husband did not like me, as such he did not want me to live in his house. I was moving from one family member to another or close family friends. Stability was something I yearned after. Though I grew up in the church I did not take Christianity very serious until I was in 4th form in high school. Fate would have it that it was at this time I met a young man in the church and we became good friends, he taught me a lot about life. I got from him the love and attention I was longing for. I loved both him and his family. His family portrayed everything I hoped for. They were ignorant of our friendship and we kept it that way. His younger siblings and I became close friends and that gave me license to frequently visit their home. From as long as I can remember I have always desired to keep myself until marriage but our friendship became sexual while we were still both active members of the assembly. This young man was hooked on pornography and I became his avenue to explore all he saw. Everything he saw, he wanted us to try and even though I would be reluctant at first he would persuade me into doing it. The only thing I remained strong against was anal sex, I could not make myself do it even with his persuasions. I was like his sex machine, everywhere and anywhere he desired to do it, we would do it. I loved him. I desired the person who took my virginity to be my husband so I lived in submission to secure my place in his life. His love was proven after I became pregnant. He told me to commit an abortion. I could not do it. He called me degrading names, scorned me and treated me less than a human being. I hated him. I lived in constant regrets of my decisions. Years have passed and I forgave him yet I cannot forgive myself. I feel like a dog remembering my experiences. I am too exposed. I feel like nothing. I have no worth. No value. No one will ever desire me for a wife, in fact I am not good enough to be.“

After listening her story, watching her uneasiness and seeing the shame and guilt that stained her face as she recall her experiences I comforted her with words of truth and love. I saw her through merciful eyes. I used three main points to encourage her:

1. Your Value Has NOT Changed

I share with her a demonstration I saw at a counselling seminar: the presenter took a Thousand Jamaican Dollar bill from his pocket and asked the group who wanted it, many raised their hands. He folded the bill and asked the question again, many hands went up just the same. He unfolded it, crushed it up in his hand then asked who wanted it. The response was the same. He threw it on the ground and stepped on it a few times and asked the question once more, many hands were raised just the same. He then asked if the value changed due to what he did to it. There was a resounding no from the audience. This ministered to me and gave me whole different outlook on my life experiences. Our mistakes, our failures, our messed up past has not decreased our value. Nothing we did or failed to do has depreciated our worth. Many have been labeled by family and friends as worthless (in Jamaican terms; wuklis). I am here to tell you that is not true, you may not be performing at your optimal level and there may be potential in you that you haven’t tap into as yet, nevertheless you are still valuable. God still loves you. He would still go to Calvary for a messed up you, a fornicator you, an abused you, an addict you, a high school drop out you, any from you are in He wants and loves you. Your value to God has not changed! Jesus still thinks you are to die for. He sees you worthy of every bit of agony Calvary cost Him. Child, you are still valuable!

2. “I Have NOT Condemned You!”

” …..And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11, KJV). This is by far one of the greatest demonstration of mercy recorded in scriptures. This woman was worthy of death, no questions asked. It was not a mere allegation that they brought to Jesus, she was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. She was guilty! But Jesus, God incarnate in His mercy did not condemn her. Knowing perfectly that we all have sinned and fallen short He asked the person who was without sin to throw the first stone at this lady. No one could, so they all walked away shame faced (See St. John 8). Merciful eyes looked upon this guilty woman and utter words of grace, words that exemplified mercy and love, he told this guilty woman that he did not condemn her. The devil exploits us because we are guilty but God embraces and empowers us in our guilt. “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not.  And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:“ (1 John 2:1, KJV). Failures are not final, mistakes are not fatal. We have an Advocate who is pleading on our behalf. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, KJV). He is just that kind of God! He does not condemn, He loves, forgives, restores and renews. God is not concerned about your past as He is about your future with Him. Note what He said to this woman; “Go and sin no more.” In other words, “I have liberated you from your past, be entangled no more.” What God offers is a better future!

3. “Today NO Condemnation…”

It’s one thing to know that God has not condemned you, but it’s a total different story to live a life liberated from condemnation. Who was better able to discuss this than the Apostle Paul? Paul was an enemy of the Church. He was feared by the Christians due to his determination to destroy all who called on the name of Christ. He was vile. Having received the revelation of Jesus on the road to Damascus (See Acts 9), and being transformed by the Holy Ghost, the guilt of his past life must have still affected him. Knowing he has sentenced many to death and witnessed the torture and death of many, he must have experienced a level of self-condemnation. However, having been with the Lord he received a profound revelation which he recorded in the book of Romans chapter 8; “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” This verse has been a platform that I stood on many days while I fought the memories of my past. Let us explore the two N’s in this statement. Now speaks to the present moment and time, today, this very hour. No, is used to give a negative response and suggests that there is nothing present. Since salvation is progressive and we remain fallible beings we are in constant need of a Saviour. In every moment in each passing day we should not habour condemnation. “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” (1 John 3:20, KJV). We are constantly held in deception believing that we have sinned too many times or we have gone too far to approach the throne of grace —lies, lies, lies and more lies. God is GREATER than our hearts! If we confess He is faithful to forgive and rid us of all condemnation. Today NO condemnation!

After that first session we arranged for other sessions where we prayed, read the Word of God and assured ourselves of God’s truth and His thoughts concerning His daughter. Jehovah Gibbor (The Lord mighty in battles) has wrought victory for His daughter. Her mess He has turned into a message! A God who sees through merciful eyes has traded beauty for ashes. She has been liberated from the guilt of her past. No more bound by self condemnation. She has found her worth in God’s word and has assured hope of a better future with Jesus as her guide.

God is constantly viewing us through merciful eyes. It doesn’t matter how deep in the mire we find ourselves; His hands are out stretched ready to pick us up and clean us up! He is not intimated by the years of sins and the ways of sins, His efficacious blood can handle any form of sin. Are you still carrying the weight of your past on your shoulders? Are you desiring to be healed from the cycles of defeat? If you want someone to talk to I invite you to send me an email at lisaneeburke@gmail.com, let us search the truth of God’s word to see what the Spirit has to say to you and your situation. If you have been shackled by your past failures, I encourage you to lay them aside and run to the arms of our Abba Father the Great Emancipator! Be liberated from the guilt of your past in Jesus’ name!